2/10 - Kém
8 tháng 2, 2025
Off white lotus adventure
This was an impulse buy. After a week of packing for our cross-country move, our only hotel app filter was hot tub. This room had a hot tub IN IT. I should have spent more time checking reviews.
In Colorado, hot tub rooms are common and lovely. We assumed this would be similar. It was not.
Red flags appeared immediately: a dark, half-constructed parking lot straight out of The Walking Dead. Inside, a man told the night clerk, “I can’t find them, I think they’re gone.” Then three SWAT-dressed men with “Alpha Unit” badges asked, “Want us to stay?” The clerk said no and reassured us, “I’ll be watching the cameras.” Comforting.
But we’re adults, city folk. We got this.
Then, our shoes stuck to the floor. Maybe they just overdid it with the Fabuloso? No phone, no remote, but who needs TV when you have next-door ambiance? Basketball game and crying baby? Perfect.
Later, we were awakened by a woman yelling “Daddy” in a way that suggested…not a family reunion. Walls? Purely decorative. I whispered to my husband, “I’m booking another hotel.”
Our wake-up call was a man loudly processing his breakup. Packing up, we were serenaded by a woman in a nearby room violently emptying her stomach.
At checkout, the night clerk simply said, “I’ll refund your deposit.” No surprise, no questions.
Would we recommend this hotel? If you want an Off-White Lotus story? Absolutely. Just book the hot tub room—it’s pricier, so maybe…less hourly?
Sweet dreams.
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